The Revel: June 2009

Long, long ago, there was an honest and kind-hearted fellow named Niu Lang (Cowhand). His parents died when he was a child. Later he was driven out of his home by his sister-in-law. So he lived by himself herding cattle and farming. One day, a fairy from heaven Zhi Nu (Weaver Maid) fell in love with him and came down secretly to earth and married him. The cowhand farmed in the field and the Weaver Maid wove at home. They lived a happy life and gave birth to a boy and a girl. Unfortunately, the God of Heaven soon found out the fact and ordered the Queen Mother of the Western Heavens to bring the Weaver Maid back.

With the help of celestial cattle, the Cowhand flew to heaven with his son and daughter. At the time when he was about to catch up with his wife, the Queen Mother took off one of her gold hairpins and made a stroke. One billowy river appeared in front of the Cowhand. The Cowhand and Weaver Maid were separated on the two banks forever and could only feel their tears. Their loyalty to love touched magpies, so tens of thousands of magpies came to build a bridge for the Cowhand and Weaver Maid to meet each other. The Queen Mother was eventually moved and allowed them to meet each year on the 7th of the 7th lunar month. Hence their meeting date has been called "Qi Xi" (Double Seventh)

Old Man Moses retold by S. E. Schlosser

It's not hard to catch a meal in New Hampshire, no sir. Take my neighbor, Old Man Moses, who lives down a piece from me. One morning, Old Man Moses went out his kitchen door and found twelve turkeys on his fence. He figured one of them would make a good dinner, but he was afeared that if he went to get his gun, them turkeys would be gone when he returned.

So Old Man Moses tossed his ax at them turkeys, hoping to get at least one. But his ax caught the tree branch above the turkeys on the fence. The branch fell into the pond, taking the turkeys with it and trapping their legs right good. Old Man Moses went right into the pond after them turkeys, his great coat floating around him like a fishing net. By the time he came ashore, Old Man Moses had snagged himself twelve turkeys and a passel of fish for his supper. Ain't nowhere else I know of where you can catch a weeks worth of meals in under ten minutes 'cept in New Hampshire. Just ask Old Man Moses

Christmas gift

Away down South, an old custom dictates that if someone comes up to you on Christmas Day and says "Christmas gift" before y'all do, why y'all are obliged to give that person a present. Mind you, the custom does not say what sort of present y'all should give! But those of us who hail from the South consider ourselves to be gentlefolk. The gifts given and received in this manner are good enough to keep the custom alive and well.

Now, this is not to say that this custom does not have its drawbacks. Why, the Devil himself got a hold of the eastern coast of Florida in this manner! The Devil, being a canny fellow, knew that God was walking about Florida one Christmas Day, so he hid himself behind a stump. When the Lord came strolling by, the Devil jumped out real fast and said: "Christmas gift!" And the Lord, being as fine a Southern gentleman as you could meet, held up to his end of the custom and told the Devil, "You can have the east coast," and continued his stroll. So now the Devil plays hurricane games with the east coast of Florida whenever it pleases him.